Kiss with a Fist

kiss-with-a-fist-2

You hit me once
I hit you back
You gave a kick
I gave a slap
You smashed a plate over my head
Then I set fire to our bed, oh
My black eye casts no shadow
Your red eye sees nothing
Your slap don’t stick
Your kicks don’t hit
So we remain the same
Love sticks
Sweat drips
Break the lock if it don’t fit
A kick to the teeth is good for some
A kiss with a fist is better than none

Hi, I am Corban and I am a Goonie, and Goonie’s, never say die!

Good day to you lovelies, I hope the world and all its wonders are seeing you well! Well, we are finally moved in!! Yes all the furniture is in place and the landscaping is complete and it is time now to sit back and enjoy life and the love of my amazing guy and wonderful family. Since my last blog, Carter actually decided to finish the front driveway landscaping himself because it was taking a long while to get completed, I have to say he did such an amazing job of it and it feels, even more, special because we did it all ourselves and it’s all come together in a beautiful space that we get to enjoy together and with our people we care about most.
We have decided to organize a rehearsal dinner for my daughter and her future wife, their wedding is coming up on the 6th May and I am so excited and proud to be walking her down the aisle with her momma Sno, I can not say there will not be a little tear there when I get to do this because she has so fast become so very important to me. If I ever got to have children in real life, I wish that they would be just like her. She is a beautiful soul with a huge heart, so poised and amazing and we clicked instantly and it’s just felt so fluid and easy to be open and close to her. We spent a good chunk of time yesterday together and she just brightens my life and brings so much joy and laughter. Some people you meet and you just know that you are meant to have them in your life, from time to time it comes and they last for a little while and then fizzle off. I know that with Mercedes, she has a father for life, and I have an amazing daughter for life.

This week I took Carter to meet one of my very good friends and soul sister Sangi, Check out her Flickr and blog) she had asked me earlier in the week to collab with her again on a piece inspired by boxing and a wonderful set she had gotten from Coming Soon poses, which is featured in today’s post. We had a lot of fun getting these images and it was so nice that two people who are special in my life got to finally meet. I decided to feature some Legal Insanity in the piece because the shorts are very fitting for a sporting scene! Check out our credits below and go buy lots of things!

Kiss-with-a-Fist

Find me on Flickr
Like me on Facebook
Photo location @ Malaika Park

..♫..Listen, with me..♫..

Get the look!

He wears:

Body – [SIGNATURE] Gianni – Mesh Body – v3.5 -Including bento hands

Shape – ..:MUG:.. Nikolai Shape (Bento Catwa)

Head – CATWA HEAD Daniel – Default neck v1.07

Skin – Clef de Peau.Mathieu Golden [CATWA] Applier (Plus compatible body applier)

Eyes – (SO) Elysian (Vibrant) Catwa / Omega (Omega applied to rigged eyes that came with the head)

Eyebrows – IDTTY Faces – Deep Eyebrows

Ears – MALE[MANDALA]Stretched EARS-OMIMI

Tattoo – ISUKA Wrathful

Hair – *ARGRACE* HAYATE – Blacks – Shade Ebony

Hair base – Unorthodox Noah Hairbase + OMEGA (catwa)+ TMP Appliers (wear)

Facial hair – [Deadwool] Full beard – black (Beard V4 – Mustache V2)

Outfit –
Legal Insanity – Teo shorts with leggings
// Ascend // Hachiro Boots – Black

Accessories –
MI86365 Mesh Boxing Gloves – Builder’s Kit

Sangi from Head to Toe:

Hair: Truth Satyra 2~colors pack

Head: Catwa Jessica

Ears: (FEMALE)_[MANDALA]FANTASY_ELF_Ears

Body & Feet: Slink Physique & Slink AvEnhance Feet Female Deluxe Pack

Shape: Sangi’s Own creation

Eyes: Omega Scripted Mesh Eyes v1.3

Eye color: LOGO Omega Visions Eyes Hazels Installer

Hands: -VA-F-VISTA BENTO PROHANDS FEM-V.1 Final

All Skin Appliers: Paper Rabbit Willow in Cream Omega & Slink

EyeLashes: #adored – tip top ombre lashes – TINTABLE {catwa}
April Powder Pack ONLY

Eyeshadow: Zombie Suicide :Z.S: Omega Ghostly Shadows Applier – Black

Brows: #adored – siobhan brows – rainbow brite edition {catwa}

Lips: #adored – wednesday lips – naked edition {catwa}

Nails: Hello Dave – Nail Appliers – Move Over

Outfit: ::BLOSSOM:: Work The Middle – Fatpack

Choker: !IT! – Triple Plated Leather Choker

Shoes: *S0H0E Shoes* Work The Middle – Knee High Trainers Fat Pack

Socks: :::Sn@tch Naughty Sport Socks V.2 (All Colors):::

Poses and Scene: *CS* Corner – Set & *CS* Gym 03 (Gacha)

legal insanity logo 2016

Call me

Color me your color, baby
Color me your car
Color me your color, darling
I know who you are
Come up off your color chart
I know where you’re comin’ from
Call me (call me) on the line
Call me, call me any, anytime
Call me (call me) my love
You can call me any day or night
Call me
Cover me with kisses, baby
Cover me with love
Roll me in designer sheets
I’ll never get enough
Emotions come, I don’t know why
Cover up love’s alibi
Call me

Hi, I am the one and only, nobody I’d rather be. Corban

We have been getting the garden and surrounding land to the house fixed up, the landscaper is doing the driveway and making it all look wonderful, (it does look a little like a construction site right now, I actually put out some scaffolding and a few construction items which I am sure my lovely man lump will get a kick out of when he wakes up) Carter’s arsehole and heart have been palpitating from the stress and his OCD, bless him. It will all be over soon and we will have the house of our dreams until we find another! You know what it’s like in Secondlife!
So my blog today is featuring the wonderful Legal Insanity. If you haven’t been over to their store or heard of them… where have you been? Their clothing is amazingly well made, texturing is on point and they have items for all tastes, and a ladies dept too so, make a trip of it with your partners, kids, ride or die bitches and get your shop on!

I am also featuring the wonderful Malaika Park sim for you all to go and take a peek at, it’s a beautiful eclectic sim, with some urban, forest, coastal mash-ups of amazing little nooks and crannies to explore and use in your blogs! It really is a stunning location very well done with lots of character and style, I shall be using it more often I think!

Let’s get to the credits!

Call-me

Find me on Flickr
Like me on Facebook
Photo location @ Malaika Park

..♫..Listen, with me..♫..

Get the look!

Body – [SIGNATURE] Gianni – Mesh Body – v3.5 -Including bento hands

Shape – ..:MUG:.. Nikolai Shape (Bento Catwa)

Head – CATWA HEAD Daniel – Default neck v1.07

Skin – Clef de Peau.Mathieu Golden [CATWA] Applier (Plus compatible body applier)

Eyes – (SO) Elysian (Vibrant) Catwa / Omega (Omega applied to rigged eyes that came with the head)

Eyebrows – IDTTY Faces – Deep Eyebrows

Ears – MALE[MANDALA]Stretched EARS-OMIMI

Tattoo – ISUKA Wrathful

Hair – *ARGRACE* HAYATE – Blacks – Shade Ebony

Hair base – Unorthodox Noah Hairbase + OMEGA (catwa)+ TMP Appliers (wear)

Facial hair – [Deadwool] Full beard – black (Beard V4 – Mustache V2)

Outfit –
Legal Insanity – Blade tanks
Legal Insanity – Adam baggy jeans
Legal Insanity – Rhys loafer

Accessories –
REIGN.- Chamber Rings- Pentagram (GOLD)
11. :BAMSE: Faith Rings – Beast (from the Beauty/Beast set)
BALACLAVA!! Mikael Glasses (Black)

legal insanity logo 2016

Moving day

moving-day-2

I will love you ’til the end of time
I would wait a million years
Promise you’ll remember that you’re mine
Baby can you see through the tears?
Love you more
Than those bitches before
Say you’ll remember, oh baby, say you’ll remember oh baby ooh
I will love you ’til the end of time

Hi, I am the piece of chewed gum you found under the table. Corban

Welcome to another edition of the craziness that keeps you ever captivated. I have been so busy over the Easter weekend, Me and my wonderful boyfriend moved in with each other on Good Friday, so now it is known, in our house, as GREAT Friday. It seems we are incapable of having a milestone life event that doesn’t correspond with a special day. We made our relationship official on April fools day, moving in together on Easter weekend. I think maybe it is because Carter has the memory of Dory from finding Nemo and the Calendar days help him keep track… we will never know! We started the morning by going over to our new home on The Grove Country Club Estates, we paid the tier and then went to pack up Carters home. It took a lot of hard work, mostly me carrying all the boxes, but we finally got the moving truck packed up and we were on our way, we drove over to OUR home. Now this place is amazing, we have a house on a cliff overlooking the ocean, our own private beach down a small staircase carved into the rocks. A lavish garden with a 3 zone veranda and a wonderfully beautiful pond which now houses several koi, a couple of swans with their babies and a platypus. The pond out back is one of the reasons I fell in love with this plot… (I seem to have a fascination with man-made water feature! A story for another day mehaps!)
After a few hours of putting out the house and furniture, we were pretty much on the road to having a home! Over the next couple of days, we have gotten all the furniture in place, mingled our stuff together in a wonderment of classical elegance and quirky curio. It really feels like home, I have had many places to live in SecondLife each one was a house, a place to put things and stuff and to change my outfits… they never really felt like a home, until now. We haven’t just put our things in the rooms of this place, we have filled it with love and I haven’t felt happier.

Let’s get on with the credits before I just gush on you with a torrent of loved up mush!

moving-day

Find me on Flickr
Like me on Facebook
Photo location @ The Grove Country Club Estates

..♫..Listen, with me..♫..

Get the look!

Body – #TheMeshProject (BETA) Deluxe

Shape – ..:MUG:.. Nikolai Shape (Bento Catwa)

Head – CATWA HEAD Daniel – Default neck v1.07

Hands – –VA-M-VISTA BENTO PROHAND TMP MALE- V1beta

Skin – Clef de Peau.Mathieu Golden [CATWA] Applier (Plus compatible body applier)

Eyes – (SO) Elysian (Vibrant) Catwa / Omega (Omega applied to rigged eyes that came with the head)

Eyebrows – IDTTY Faces – Deep Eyebrows

Ears – MALE[MANDALA]Stretched EARS-OMIMI

Tattoo – ISUKA Wrathful

Hair – *ARGRACE* HAYATE – Blacks – Shade Ebony

Hair base – Unorthodox Noah Hairbase + OMEGA (catwa)+ TMP Appliers (wear)

Facial hair – [Deadwool] Full beard – black (Beard V4 – Mustache V2)

Outfit –
Legal Insanity – summer tank
Legal Insanity – Julian old jeans
[Deadwool] Chase sneakers – black

Accessories –
REIGN.– Chamber Rings- Pentagram (GOLD)
11. :BAMSE: Faith Rings – Beast (from the Beauty/Beast set)
**RE** ReVoX MCX Watch
Absolut Vendetta -@WRISTBAND RYAN*MESHPROJECT – Left
BALACLAVA!! Mikael Glasses (Black)

legal insanity logo 2016

Running up that hill…

It doesn’t hurt me
Do you wanna feel how it feels?
Do you wanna know, know that it doesn’t hurt me?
Do you wanna hear about the deal that I’m making?
You
It’s you and me
And if I only could
I’d make a deal with God
And I’d get him to swap our places
Be running up that road
Be running up that hill
Be running up that building
See if I only could, oh

Hi, I am the bad life choices you made and still pay for to this day. Corban

Welcome once again to this thing I call a blog, I have been slacking again haven’t I… Well, you know what it is like when you have a very busy life… yeah that is totally not my reason. I have just been thoroughly lazy and slacking and should probably be taken out back and shot, or at the very least beaten to within an inch of death. A couple of weeks ago I made reference to Kate Bush in my blog post ‘Handlebars’ available on itunes (not really you can just click the link and read it for free) Anyway I made reference to ‘cavorting around the moors singing Kate Bush songs’ and one of my amazingly wonderful blogging buddies and source of amazing encouragement and love, Ever Amaranthine, told me she would like to see me do Running up that Hill. So this blog is to keep her nipples erect and try to quench her appetite. (take a look at her amazing Flickr images and send her some love coz she is entirely awesome, here)
I thought about what I wanted to do for this piece for a while and as I couldn’t find a smoky dance studio with a lump of man flesh to do an interpretive dance routine in overly baggy pantaloons, that has nothing to do with with the theme of the song but looks visually stunning, I decided on a more literal concept. Now I had a couple’s pose for a while called ‘running together’ and I thought this would be the perfect post to make use of it. I looked on my friends list and saw Grace online (You can find her amazing Flickr here, go take a look and throw lots of love at her entire confection!), she was probably diddling when I messaged her, she is known for diddling and saying Fuck Off, in such a way it makes me violently orgasm. I was very happy when she wanted to come and be in the picture with me and we spent some time having a chat and taking pictures. I did this about a week ago with her and yes, am only now posting this post… picture my disgusting procrastinations and shame me… shame me real good!
But, not only do you have a nugget of men’s fashions this week you also have a pop of ladies marvelous wares to get your eyeballs around so a twofer! There are some cool items from a couple of event Uber and The Project Se7ev in the credits below so be sure to take a look at those won’t you!

So I think its a good time to give you an update on my last post, on April the !st, yes I know it was April fools, which is quite fitting for me and my boyfriend as we are both comedy gold in our own little minds if not to anyone else, we made our relationship official. I can honestly say that I have never felt so comfortable with someone I have dated, never felt so completely at ease and just fluid with him. Maybe it is because we were close friends and talked an awful lot before the feelings developed and we decided to take that next step on the journey. He doesn’t really believe in the whole destiny and higher powers, but I have a deep connection with that stuff and have done since my teens when I found Paganism and became a witch. So I believe in a good many things like Fate, Karma, Destiny and Spiritualism. I truly think we were meant to be together, we compliment each other, bounce off one another (not just in a sexy time way) We have been spending most of our time together when we can both be online, and it still feels so exciting and new and not awkward or forced in the slightest. I can be one hundred percent of myself with him, and he accepts that and encourages my crazy, geeky, weird and awkwardness and makes me feel beautiful and perfect even though I am far from perfection. I am in love with him and I know that I am loved back with the same vigor and gumption. I can not remember a time I felt this happy and totally free to be just myself. Thank you, Carter. The most amazing, wonderful man, lover and best friend I could ask for. ❤ I love you fuck face, never doubt it or forget it!

Now shall we get some links and things so you can spend some monies!! Yes… YES!

Running-up-that-hill

Find me on Flickr
Like me on Facebook
Photo location @ Annon

..♫..Listen, with me..♫..

Get the look!

He wears:

Body – #TheMeshProject (BETA) Deluxe

Shape –  ..:MUG:.. Nikolai Shape (Bento Catwa)

Head – CATWA HEAD Daniel – Default neck v1.07

Hands – –VA-M-VISTA BENTO PROHAND TMP MALE- V1beta

Skin – Clef de Peau.Mathieu Golden [CATWA] Applier (Plus compatible body applier)

Eyes – (SO) Elysian (Vibrant) Catwa / Omega (Omega applied to rigged eyes that came with the head)

Eyebrows – IDTTY Faces – Deep Eyebrows

Ears – MALE[MANDALA]Stretched EARS-OMIMI

Tattoo – ISUKA Wrathful

Hair – *ARGRACE* HAYATE – Blacks – Shade Ebony

Hair base – Unorthodox Noah Hairbase + OMEGA (catwa)+ TMP Appliers (wear)

Facial hair – [Deadwool] Full beard – black (Beard V4 – Mustache V2)

Outfit –
//Ascend// Adam Kurta Shirt – White
//Ascend// Johny Casual Pants – Smoke
[Deadwool] Chase sneakers – black

Accessories –
REIGN.- Chamber Rings- Pentagram (GOLD)
11.  :BAMSE: Faith Rings – Beast (from the Beauty/Beast set)
**RE** ReVoX MCX Watch
Absolut Vendetta -@WRISTBAND RYAN*MESHPROJECT – Left

She wears:

Head – Catwa Lona

Hair – Tableau Vivant – Thea [fizzy chic] – Blonde  – Available at The Project Se7en until April 20th

Eyes – Ikon Triumph Eyes – Blue

Skin – YS&YS – Danana – Tone 2

Nails – Empire – Square nails – Nails for Vista hands (bento)

Top – Miss Chelsea – Alva Tank (Colour pack 2) – Available at Uber Until April 23rd

Pants – Miss Chelsea  – Alva Leggings (Colour pack 2)  – Available at Uber until 23rd April

Shoes – Flite – Retro Gliders V2

Piercings
Ear-rings – **RE** Miriam Ear Piercings
Nose Piercing – .ARISE. – Nose Ring / Silver

Pose – :LW: Poses – Running together – couples pose

 

Violently Happy

Since I met you
This small town hasn’t got room
For my big feelings
Violently happy
Cause I love you
Violently happy
But you´re not here
Violently happy
Come calm me down
Before I get into trouble
I tip-toe down to the shore
Stand by the ocean
Make it roar at me
And I roar back
Violently happy
Cause I love you

Hi, I am the two for one on microwaveable pot pies you just couldn’t turn down, Corban.

Have you ever been so happy that you feel the urge to stab things? NO? Well fuck, it must be just me and Jack the Ripper then… Ok, now I feel slightly uncomfortable sharing that with you… stop looking at me like that!
In all seriousness, or not so much seriousness as it’s not a trait I am best served with, I am so incredibly happy right now. Everything just feels like it is starting to make sense and fit together… Granted its not in the most conventional way that ever happened to human shaped organ bags, there are some… I am not gonna use the word hurdles, but more things that need consideration and thought… but I am going to grip on and not let go of this feeling.
It has been a roller coaster of change for me since I started blogging, there have been many twists and turns and all of them I have somehow conveyed in this platform someone gave me… really dumb person I know, giving me a place to let you delve into my fucked up noggin, but alas you are here and I am here so lets do this messed up dance together and let the chunks of dead things fall where they do!

If you have followed me from the conception of my blog you will have walked all the madness with me, if you are new to all this please make sure you have a seat belt, some Pepto-Bismol, a shovel and maybe a few trash bags… oh and be a doll and grab some duct tape! Never know when that can come in handy in a pinch.
So I am not gonna go into major details and make you all vomit into your man bags/handbags respectively, but a big part of my happy has come from a Mr… he is the most beautiful soul, kind, funny, loving, caring, romantic, charming, sweet, considerate, sexy and completely addictive man… he buys me roses and not just for the sake of buying me something but because it has meaning. It’s a symbol and there is so much thought behind it, I know because he made a point of telling me why and it made me melt even more. We are being sensible, and taking it slowly and using the time to get to know each other better. It is a new and exciting feeling that I never really had before with anyone I have dated, and most of all he wants me for me, I don’t have to tone down myself… I get to be every part of myself and it’s all accepted and loved… I have always felt the need to change to fit what someone else was looking for or wanted, but this time I feel so incredibly at ease and able to just be myself, STD’s and all, and he still wants to be with me… We talk about the future, our future, but there is no feeling there that we need to get to that point as quickly as possible, skipping over things we should be taking the time to enjoy and let come naturally.
Ok, I said I wasn’t going to make you vomit… I guess I may have lied about that but you will forgive me because let’s face facts, I am pretty awesome and adorable 😀

I speak a lot about my feelings now, more than I thought I would be able to when I first started adding these rambles into my blogs… I have come to learn that it is because the people around me now give me a safety to be open, to talk frankly and honestly about things I need to and support and come to me too with things they want to talk about. I have a close-knit group of people who I love and treasure they know who they are, at least I hope they know… I am a little self-absorbed at times I guess and maybe do not show that they mean the world to me, so will make a point of telling them more often. Without these people, I think I would still be a lone wolf, closed off and reclusive. They have all helped me to see that trusting in people isn’t always a negative, and if you don’t give people that grace, then you may miss out on exceptional people who enrich our lives.

Now let’s talk about this picture and where you can buy all the stuff and things that you eye-gasmed over and really came here to find!

Violently-Happy

Find me on Flickr
Like me on Facebook
Photo location @ Devin 1

..♫..Listen, with me..♫..

Get the look!

Body – [SIGNATURE] Gianni – Mesh Body – v3.4

Shape – ..:MUG:.. Nikolai Shape (Bento Catwa)

Head – CATWA HEAD Daniel – Default neck v1.07

Skin – Clef de Peau.Mathieu Golden [CATWA] Applier  (Plus compatible body applier)

Eyes – (SO) Elysian (Vibrant) Catwa / Omega (Omega applied to rigged eyes that came with the head)

Eyebrows – IDTTY Faces – Deep Eyebrows

Ears – MALE[MANDALA]Stretched EARS-OMIMI

Tattoo – ISUKA Wrathful

Hair – *ARGRACE* HAYATE – Blacks – Shade Ebony

Hair base – Unorthodox Noah Hairbase + OMEGA (catwa)+ TMP Appliers (wear)

Facial hair – [Deadwool] Full beard – black (Beard V4 – Mustache V2)

Outfit –
Legal Insanity – Julian old jeans
Legal Insanity – Brent Vneck shirt
TRAPHOUSE COLLECTIVE – Signature Sneakers No2

Accessories –
REIGN.– Chamber Rings- Pentagram (GOLD)
11. :BAMSE: Faith Rings – Beast (from the Beauty/Beast set)
**RE** ReVoX MCX Watch

legal insanity logo 2016
Sponsored by Legal Insanity

 

Handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars
Look at me, look at me
Hands in the air like it’s good to be
Alive!
And I’m a famous rapper
Even when the paths are all crookedy
I can show you how to do-si-do
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to “De Colores”
And “I’m proud to be an American”
Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cause, look

Hi, I’m the sassy bun you did this morning to save washing your hair, Corban.

You may or may not have noticed but I have been away for a little bit, by away I don’t mean a fabulous trip or cavorting around the moors singing Kate Bush songs. I have just been not feeling the blogging life for the last few days, but now I’m back… from outer space! I really must stop getting so easily side tracked with my random thoughts and buffoonery. So I am kicking things off with a wonderful little nugget of awesome from Legal Insanity, the amazing store that sponsors all this, yes I think they may be slightly crazy but they do make a killer clothing mesh! Today’s offering is a wonderful pair of baggy jeans that are available in six fabulous denim shades with a fatpack for your convenience, the hud allows you to change the belt and underwear textures and they are really well made wonderful urban feeling jeans that are a must have for any closet… I suggest you run your sexy mesh buns over to Men only Monthly (MoM) and grab all the wonderment of these beautifully crafted denim pantaloons! If not for me then… do it for yourself… or the world… maybe world peace!

I would like to also touch on the tragedy in London that happened Yesterday. It saddens me when people use religion as a tool for hate, we should all be given the right to have faith in whatever we want… without fear of being blown up or mowed down. This latest attack was very scary for me, and my first thought turned to my bestie, and I had to message her to see if she was ok. Luckily she was not in the city but when she is there she usually is near there and walks that bridge many times. I have seen a lot of people hashtag we are not afraid, in all honesty, it scares the shit out of me to think that anyone at any moment could take out a gun, leave a bag with a bomb or drive a car into people, the fact that it could be someone you know, you have talked to or live near… yea I don’t mind saying I am scared for the state of the world.
The loss of life is so needless and tragic to me, my heart goes out to the families of the poor victims just going about their day and to gone in an instant…
If any of you have been touched by terrorism, my heart goes out to you.

Now, let’s give them the middle finger and go shopping…

Handlebars

Find me on Flickr
Like me on Facebook
Photo location @ Duet

..♫..Listen, with me..♫..

Get the look!

Body – [SIGNATURE] Gianni – Mesh Body – v3.4

Shape – ..:MUG:.. Nikolai Shape (Bento Catwa)

Head – CATWA HEAD Daniel – Default neck v1.07

Skin – Clef de Peau.Mathieu Golden [CATWA] Applier (Plus compatible body applier)

Eyes – .ARISE. Dor Eyes / Olive (Omega applied to rigged eyes that came with the head)

Eyebrows – IDTTY Faces – Deep Eyebrows

Ears – MALE[MANDALA]Stretched EARS-OMIMI

Tattoo  – ISUKA Wrathful

Nipples – VAW XTC Nipples – Male v2.5

Hair – *ARGRACE* HAYATE – Blacks – Shade Ebony

Hair base – Unorthodox Noah Hairbase + OMEGA (catwa)+ TMP Appliers (wear)

Facial hair – [Deadwool] Full beard – black (Beard V4 – Mustache V2)

Outfit –
Legal Insanity – Adam baggy jeans (Available from MOM until 15th April 2017)

Accessories –
REIGN.– Chamber Rings- Pentagram (GOLD)
11. :BAMSE: Faith Rings – Beast (from the Beauty/Beast set)
ANHELO-F02AG-169GA :: vintage road bike (ash glay)

legal

Million reasons…

million-reasons-2

You’re giving me a million reasons to let you go
You’re giving me a million reasons to quit the show
You’re givin’ me a million reasons
Give me a million reasons
Givin’ me a million reasons
About a million reasons
If I had a highway, I would run for the hills
If you could find a dry way, I’d forever be still
But you’re giving me a million reasons
Give me a million reasons
Givin’ me a million reasons
About a million reasons
I bow down to pray
I try to make the worst seem better
Lord, show me the way
To cut through all his worn out leather
I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one to stay

Hi, I am the best thing you never had… Corban

I have always found it amusing how much a person will take from another. How we will let them treat us badly, neglect us, belittle us and abuse us… yet we continue to go back with open arms asking, née begging for more.
Someone recently came into my eye line, someone I thought was a friend but recently the feelings turned a little, that flutter of beautiful excitement starts as a tiny tickle, a spark inside your guts. It grows and permeates through your entire being, gripping and clawing you until it possesses every fiber. You look forward to seeing their name login, you hear that ping of a new message and for a moment hope that it is them. Then you wake up to the reality, that he is partnered… You should not be feeling what you feel because it is wrong to do so, but he tells you his relationship is so bad so you fool yourself there is a chance. You start to think about being with them, letting yourself believe that they actually want you from the things they tell you.
You neglect to register that he has had multiple chances to end things and has not, you fall for the words, the text they feed you because at the end of the day we all want to be wanted. I want that, to be loved, cherished and feel that someone in this vast and beautiful world actually thinks you are worthy… That one reason.

I guess that believing in such things are foolish, I mean he is with someone and dancing with me, talking to me about being together. But he is still ‘with’ someone, still their boyfriend… why would it be any different if I was with him, surely patterns of behaviour, hard fact’s and realism are the wiser things to hold on to rather than those silly feelings you are unable to keep in check like a mentally retarded teen girl, getting flustered over a boy smiling at her.

I think I may have mentioned this before, but I have a quote that has stuck with me ‘Never make someone a priority in your life if you are just an option in theirs.’ I saw this applied today, after I spent the afternoon in his arms, dancing and talking about ‘our’ future. Then I came back from family time to a message about how his boyfriend is begging him for another chance, and that he still had not broken up with him. That was all I needed to see I had been so fucking dumb yet again, I swear my love life is laughable I could write a sell-out one-man comedy show just using my relationships…
I really wanted to be a priority, I really wanted him to be all in and choose me, but alas… One of the last things I said to him was, ‘when he fucks you over again, and you are left alone, miserable and unhappy again like you have been, recently… remember what you threw away to keep him.’
All I needed was one reason, and I didn’t get it… so I took myself out of the equation. I don’t think he even reads my blog so probably won’t see this post, but if you are reading this. Your loss!

Now, let’s fuck these feelings and bullshit right in the anus and get to the credits… yes?

Million-Reasons

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